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  1. The scorpion wants to get across the river, so he asks the frog to carry him across. The frog’s like "well, what’s in it for me?", and the scorpion’s like "how about 5 bucks?" The frog goes, "make it 20". The scorpion’s like "fiiiine, 15". But halfway across the river, the frog feels this terrible pain on his back, and the scorpion… he stung him, y’know? And the frog’s like, "what the hell? We’re both gonna drown now". And they both did.

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